He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
