i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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