I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
