Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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