nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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