it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
