I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i think i just lost a toe
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
