There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
