I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
