Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
