i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
