so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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