Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
