Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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