threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
