Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
