last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
