P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize