god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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