I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish i was in the wii world.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
