So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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