i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
