Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
