what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
