I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
