Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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