Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
