If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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