i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
