I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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