apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
