I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize