I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
