Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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