I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
