dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
