Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
