all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
