girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
