porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
