I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
