mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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