just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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