I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
