Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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