Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
