Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
