Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
