Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
