I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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