I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
