how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
