Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry uofaff hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

Fav 2 1286 3835
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS

Fav 11 1707 3676
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it

Fav 18 4659 1286
share tweet
(361): View more from Texas

like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan

Fav 15 2741 1265
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.

Fav 5 2886 1411
share tweet
(605): View more from South Dakota

and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

Fav 10 4181 1221
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(239): View more from Florida

Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.

Fav 3 1850 1097
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.

Fav 10 401 876
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you

Fav 0 55 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT