i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
