But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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