And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
