Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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