we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
