my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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