I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
