just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
