I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
